Be humble

Wow, Mr. Goof did well today. He scored 197 out of a possible 200 in a local obedience trial.  Well done Mr. Goof!

Yes, yes: the title “Cock-flavored Soup” most deliciously stimulates a node in the brain reserved exclusivly for all that is raunchy.

When the senses are presented with a stimulus which can in even the most obscure way be interpreted as *dirty*, *lewed*, *sexie*… you get the idea:  this raunch node fires up and synapsifies gleefully, infesting millions of other nodes with expectations of titilation.  (No shit, this reallly happens!)

If the stimulus is followed by the presentation of something truly *pornographic*, then a person is titilated.  Either titilation continues until the novelty wares off, or it is converted by “Darth Vader” type nodes into guilt and disgust.

If the stimulus is followed by something not at all *pornographic*, the raunch node misfires erratically, “Darth Vader” type nodes quiver with lack of suitable stimulation and the expectation of titilation and/or guilt and/or disgust are quashed, leaving one in a state of utter dissapointment.

We all need to appreciate the fact that we enjoy the expectation of titilation.  This doesn’t make us *bad* people, it makes us *human* people.  It’s what we do with it that matters.

Something to think about:  If “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” were written and produced today as a motion picture, it would need to be rated R.  Yet, this play was the focus of my and many other’s grade 10 English curriculum.  We had a nice, seemingly straight-laced English teacher.  She often referred to “underlying off-colour humor’ in the play, ‘But we won’t disguss this in class!’

It’s surprising how quickly one can learn to relate to Olde English with this kind of *stimulation*.

To summarise:  relax, have some fun and enjoy the many foibles of the human mind...... 

Likely to be found in the

When I expired this post at the suggestion of one of our visitors, CMax commented on censorship.  He is right.  It is back.  ::hb::

pantries of Lawyers, and most politicians. Should be found in the pantries of spammers!

http://www.gracefoods.com/ProdCAt/picture.asp?pic=cock_soup.gif&tit=COCK%20FLAVOURED%20SOUP%20MIX

Spam sucks. Every once in a while I come across a product that seemingly does exactly what it is supposed to so and does it well.  MailWasher is one of those products.

Quoting from the web site - “MailWasher is a powerful email checker with effective spam elimination. Discover the safe way to stop unwanted viruses and e-mails before they get to your computer.

No gimmicks here, it is so easy to set up and use that you’ll be managing your email like a pro in seconds. It can even be used as an effective privacy tool.

I think you will find this to be the easiest, most effective way to manage your incoming e-mails. You will be amazed at how quickly you will like using MailWasher.”

The description is accurate.

Yep, Lawyers Stink Store, they take visa! (Thanks Mur!)

The RIAA’s Dominatrix, Hilary Rosen has decided to forsake her role in the effort to keep the music industry in the dark ages. 
Goodbye, and good riddance.

It is reported she will be leaving by the end of the year.  After I finish having a real good dump, I invariably flush the damned toilet. 
I wouldn’t wait ‘till the end of the year to flush - imagine the consequences of that.

(Quote from Yahoo! News)
“During my tenure here, the recording industry has undergone dramatic challenges and it is well positioned for future success. I have been extremely proud to be a part of this industry transition,” Rosen said Wednesday. “But I have young children and I want to devote more of my time to them.”

Pity those childeren......

I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want,
but you must eat it with naked fat people.

I have seen one of the finest instances of user interface design ever, and I hope to see it in the men’s room at Island bars.

In each of the urinals, there is a little printed blue fly. It looks a lot like a real fly, but it’s definitely iconic - you’re not supposed to believe it’s a real fly. It’s printed near the drain, and slightly to the left. (hmmm..why to the left do you suppose?)

I asked a user interface designer I knew and who was familiar with this particular piece of pissoir technology. He told me that washrooms are much cleaner when these flies are there. Presumably because they encourage, in a very subtle way, good aim.

Now I love this kind of interface, because it’s so psychologically clever. If they had put big circular targets, and arrows with a little printed message “pee here!” (like it would probably be if anybody ever tried such a thing in a Government building), it would surely backfire. A certain percentage of men would deliberately try to disobey this instruction.

But this innocuous little fly just invites being peed upon, if such a thing makes any sense, but in a non-insistent, gentle, and entirely effective way. I would love to know if toilet user interface designers (there’s a title for a business card!) tried focus groups with other icons - bees, smiley faces, eye icons, circles, letters? I would love to know what process they used to decide that it should be slightly to the left.

There may be an IRAP project in the making!

January 18, 2003 was a glorious day on our wee oyelen.  Sunny, crisp, no wind and a dusting of light snow on the trees.  A day made for hiking.  Uncharacteristically, I found the need to be working in Charlottetown on Saturday.  Finishing my duties I decided on a short wobble down the board walk to clear the cobwebs.  Now understand, I am a dog owner - I adore dogs - just about all breeds - but puuulllleeeze!  Steaming piles of dog crotte abound. (Actually it was to cold to steam, but a few piles were - oh, never mind.)

That got me thinking about signage and the seemingly prevalent assumption that we are an illiterate society and need to be shown the mandated behaviour with icons. How do you best illustrate the concept of picking up your dog’s poop?

The natural thing seems to be to draw a pooping dog, and cross it out. Or perhaps an iconic person stooping to retrieve said poop. But poop, even innocent l’il doggie poopoos, are taboo. What do to?

I saw this sign somewhere on the net.  Not only is the dog rather specific-looking, it’s performing its instinctive bury-my-poop action. Contrasted with the relative realness of the dog is a very stylized person and some ultra-iconic poop. Can’t really get more chaste and inoffensive than representing the poo as a neat little diamond package.

For the folks that buy into the “come play on our island” and “come feel our warmth” slogans, this kind of sign may be just fine.  For the vast majority of people who take their dogs to the board walk (mostly oyelendors) a big white sign with red letters saying ”don’t let your dog shit where other people walk!” is probably the only solution.

I outrageously copied this from some page on the net that I encountered.....

::hb::

“In Canada, there’s a law that is just blatantly wrong and foolish. It has to do with what happens to your taxes when you give away some of your money.

If you donate cash to a registered charity, you can write off the first $200 at 17% (that is, if you earn $30000, and you give away $200 to Greenpeace, or Amnesty International, or a church or homeless shelter, you can pretend you earn $30000 - (17% of $200 = $34) = $29966. After the first $200, the write-off goes to a whopping 29%. 

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