Saturday morning is grocery day at the ~HB~ residence and it is herself who usually shoulders the burden of shopping.  However, she late of Miami, and given the 104 cm of snow the last week, asked if I might drive her to town.  Given that our roads are little more than goat paths through mountains of white I allowed as perhaps I could.  With the Outback belching fumes and all 4 wheels spinning and clawing for traction we found our way down the goat path to the provincial capital and entered that well-known edifice, Sobey’s.

Being the warm hearted and helpful sort that I am I offered to assist in the shopping - heck, gotta live a little and ride on the edge.  I have a few observations:

  • There must be a lot of people with killer bad-breath.  There is an incredible selection of breath- freshening products.
  • My gawd - there one whole side of an isle devoted to bathroom tissue.  Single ply, double ply, pleated, powered, unscented and scented (scented...now wait a minute)
  • You could probably live off the samples being given away.
  • When walking down the feminine hygiene isle I still keep my eyes straight forward.
  • Rob is right, there seems to be a freshness crisis (I peeked).

    • Herself warned me that as we were arriving late the store would be crowed with seniors.  She was correct as I think we were the youngest people there.  As I get older I have an affectionate patience and respect for my elders and I really enjoy the crusty directness of some seniors.  In my opinion, there is nothing more amusing that a crusty old Scot in full sail. 

    I was watching a number of seniors shopping and it appears that shopping lists are not the ‘in thing’.  More often than not I would see an elderly person stand in the middle of the isle squinting both ways.  When they spotted what they wanted a hand would go up and they would lurch toward the item with upraised hand aimed with deadly accuracy at the coveted item.

    I was standing in the isle staring pensively at the hardware section (you really did not think I was going to shuffle around behind herself did you?) when smack I was struck from behind by a shopping cart.  Turning around I was met by the frightening glare of a little blue hair lady dressed as if she was just stopping by on her way to the NY Metropolitan theater.  “Pardon me M’am”, I said, stepping out of her way.  Heck, that glare would peel chrome off door knobs and I was not going to mess with her.  “Git out of ma way young man, I am in a hurry”, she snarled with an even more evil glare. 

    I am sorry.  I could not help it.  Call it momentary insanity.  I could not control my mirth and broke out with one of the loudest and most heartfelt gails of laughter that I have experienced in a long time.  The old dear was not amused.  She turned around and I think she was looking for a broom handle.  I walked quickly away, although she could have found me easily because I kept laughing in the next isle.

    I really need to get out more.