To all my friends.. are you tired of all those namby, pamby, girly, sissy, completely wet “friendship” poems, that never come close to reality?

To my friends:

1 . When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you’ve finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out of you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to stop your bloody whining.
6 . When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again, don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Thanks Mur!